The Importance of Listening to Children's Feelings: Big and Small
As parents, it’s easy to get caught up in the busyness of life, but one of the most powerful gifts we can give our children is our attention—especially when it comes to their feelings. Whether it’s a small frustration over a toy or a bigger worry about school, every emotion matters. When we listen, we build trust, foster emotional intelligence, and create a safe space for them to express themselves.
There was a time when my child was struggling at school, and I couldn’t figure out what was wrong. I had to work that day, but he wasn’t budging at all. After trying everything, I had no choice but to call in and stay home. In that quiet moment, he finally opened up. At first, I saw fear and worry in his eyes, but when I listened beyond his words, we uncovered the real issue, which had nothing to do with what I thought. It was as if a switch had been flipped. What once seemed overwhelming no longer bothered him, and he’s grown so much since. That moment of truly listening made all the difference.
Why Listening to All Feelings Matters
Children are constantly learning about their world. Their emotions—big and small—reflect their experiences. By listening, we show them their feelings are valid, helping them trust their emotions. Dismissing their feelings, even unintentionally, can make them feel misunderstood and lead to bottling up emotions.
Building Emotional Resilience
Listening to children helps them develop emotional resilience. Knowing they can talk about anything, whether it's a small worry or a big fear, helps them handle challenges better. They learn emotions are natural and manageable, building confidence in expressing their needs.
Strengthening the Parent-Child Bond
When we actively listen, we strengthen our bond with our children. They feel seen, heard, and loved. This trust forms the foundation for future conversations, so when bigger challenges arise, they know they can turn to us.
How to Listen Attentively
- Be Present: Put distractions aside and truly focus on what your child is saying. No better time like the now
- Validate Their Feelings: Acknowledge their emotions, even if they seem small. Saying, " I can see you're upset" helps them feel understood.
- Ask Open-Ended Questions: Encourage more sharing by asking, "How did that make you feel?" or "What happened next? or "In what ways can I help you?"
- Stay Patient: Give them space to fully express themselves without rushing.
By listening to your child’s feelings—big or small—you nurture their emotional well-being, build trust, and guide them toward healthy emotional expression for life.