Letting Go of Expectations: Trusting in Allah’s Plan
Life is full of connections—with family, friends, and those around us. We build relationships, share experiences, and help each other through life’s ups and downs. But often, we place expectations on others, sometimes unknowingly, and hold ourselves to impossible standards. In these moments, we forget that our ultimate attachment should always be to Allah. It’s He who guides, provides, and orchestrates every detail of our lives. When we drop the heavy burden of expectations from others, we free ourselves to truly trust in Him and His plan.
There was a time when I was sick, and the thoughts of death began to overwhelm me. I wasn’t scared for myself, but I was deeply worried about who would care for my son. My husband has always been supportive and helpful around the house, and we’ve always worked as a team. Yet, those fears lingered in my mind. I kept thinking, "What if I’m not here to take care of him?"
One day, when I physically couldn’t attend to my son, my husband naturally stepped in and cared for him. It was as if a light switch turned on in my mind: “Daniela, you were never in control anyway. It is Allah who is in control.” I realized that I had been placing expectations on myself and those around me, expecting to always be the one managing everything. But at that moment, I let go. I understood that everything was always in Allah’s hands, not mine.
This realization wasn’t just about my immediate situation—it was about life itself. When we set expectations for others, we unintentionally tether our happiness and well-being to their actions. When they don’t meet those expectations, we feel let down. This constant cycle can create frustration, disappointment, and strain in our relationships. But when we let go of those expectations and turn our focus toward Allah, we experience a profound sense of peace.
Trusting Allah and Letting Go
One of the hardest lessons in life is learning that we are not in control. We often take on responsibilities, believing it’s up to us to ensure everything goes smoothly. Whether it’s in relationships, work, or personal goals, we set expectations and build attachments. But, in reality, we are only ever responsible for our efforts—not the outcomes. The outcome is always in Allah’s hands.
When we understand this, we stop expecting things from people that only Allah can provide—peace, happiness, or security. People will always have limitations, and they cannot meet all our emotional or physical needs. But Allah, in His infinite mercy, always knows what is best for us.
The Qur'an reminds us of this truth:
"And whoever relies upon Allah – then He is sufficient for him. Indeed, Allah will accomplish His purpose." — Surah At-Talaq (65:3)
When we put our trust fully in Allah, we release the expectations we’ve placed on others. We understand that Allah is the true provider and sustainer of everything we have and everything we are.
Our Connections to People
This doesn’t mean we disconnect from people. On the contrary, we are meant to build and nurture relationships in this life. We are part of families, communities, and friendships for a reason. However, those relationships are strengthened when we detach from expectations and focus on giving and receiving from a place of love and sincerity. When we stop expecting others to fulfill us in ways only Allah can, we allow those relationships to blossom naturally, without pressure or strain.
Our relationships become healthier when we remember that everyone is on their own journey. We are all imperfect, and that’s okay. What matters is that we approach others with compassion and understanding, without demanding more than they can give. Trusting in Allah doesn’t mean we don’t rely on or appreciate the help of others, but it means that our deepest reliance, our core attachment, is to Him alone.
Finding Freedom in Surrender
Letting go of expectations allows us to live with more gratitude. Instead of focusing on what others aren’t doing, we become more aware of what they are doing, focus on the positives. We become grateful for the little things and see them as blessings from Allah. And when things don’t go as planned, we are more likely to accept it with patience, knowing that it’s all part of Allah’s perfect design for our lives.
In the end, the freedom we seek comes from surrendering to Allah’s plan. By letting go of expectations from others, we open our hearts to the deeper truth that Allah is always in control. This brings a calmness and ease to our lives, knowing that we are exactly where we need to be and that Allah will always guide us, provide for us, and take care of us in ways we can’t even imagine.